Dawn's House of Whine
The lil’ bit sure is growing up before our eyes. She’s not so much a whiner like she used to be, so this section is kind of hard to classify now. Just to tide you over and remember the days when Dawn could sever our minds with her constant complaining, the fun stuff is still here.
kEy-mail of the week - (10.2.02)
From:
You’re killing my site. I won awards for this feature! Whine, damn you, whine!
Dawn says…
Sorry, bub. I’m growing up. Blame the writers.
Dawn Quotables (Updated: 5.29.02)
Two To Go
Willow: Oh please. You’re telling me you don’t remember? You used to be some mystic ball of energy. Maybe that’s why you’re crying all the time, Dawnie. Cause you don’t belong here. Wanna go back? End the pain? You’ll be happier, I’ll be happier, we’ll all be a lot happier without listening to the constant whining.
Dawn: Willow…stop.
Willow: *whiny voice* Mom, Buffy, Tara, waaaah. It’s time you go back to being a little energy ball.
No Place Like Home
Buffy: Dawn, touch nothing.
Dawn: Who died and made you the Iron Chef?
Dawn: We can’t all be born with big, fancy, chosen-one reflexes, you know.
Dawn: I tell you I have this theory? It goes where you’re the one who’s not my sister, ’cause Mom adopted you from a shoebox full of baby howler monkeys, and never told you ’cause it could hurt your delicate baby feelings.
Buffy: That’s your theory?
Dawn: Explains your fashion sense. And smell.
Buffy: I just had a bad day.
Dawn: Well, join the club.
Buffy: Can I be president?
Dawn: I’m president. You could be the janitor.
The Real Me
Dawn: No one has an older sister who’s a Slayer. People wouldn’t be so crazy about her if they had to live in the same house with her every single day. Everybody cares what she thinks, just ’cause she can do backflips and stuff. Like that’s such a crucial job skill in the real world!
Dawn: I could so save the world if somebody handed me super-powers. But I’d think of a cool name and wear a mask to protect my loved ones. Which Buffy doesn’t even.
Dawn: Killing things with wood? Ooh, scary vampires – they die from a splinter.
Riley: See you, kid!
Dawn: I’m not a kid!
Dawn: You’re hurting me. I’m telling.
Dawn: Yeah, well, I’m telling Mom you slayed in front of me.
Dawn: She still thinks I’m little Miss Nobody. Just her dumb little sister. Boy, is she in for a surprise.
As You Were
Dawn: Bronze was fun last night. In a total home-by-elevenish kind of way.
Doublemeat Palace
Xander: Okay, but maybe you’ll be a lawyer or a doctor, and you can use all your money to support your deadbeat sister.
Dawn: Oh, that’s terrifically better. Thanks.
Flooded
Dawn: I bet it’s creditors. The hounding’s begun. I read about it. So, you think we’ll starve?
Giles: I very much doubt it.
Dawn: No chance I’d have to quit school to work assembling cheap toys in a poorly-ventilated sweatshop?
Giles: ‘Poorly-ventilated sw…’ What _have_ you been reading?
Older and Far Away -
Dawn: You sound like my guidance counselor. Did she give you a handbook or something? Talking to the Troubled Teen?
Dawn: So you’ve all just decided that somehow I’m responsible. Great. Here’s me basking in the love.
Gone -
Dawn: Candles? We can’t have candles?
Buffy: Dawn, it’s a magic clearance. Everything must go.
Dawn: But they’re just candles!
Buffy: Well, yeah, you know, to you and me they’re just candles. But to witches, they’re like… bongs.
All The Way -
Buffy: Were you parking? With a vamp?
Dawn: I didn’t know he was dead.
Justin: Living dead.
Dawn: Shut up!
Buffy: How could you not know?
Dawn: I just met him.
Buffy: Oh, so you went parking in the woods with a boy you just met.
Dawn: Oh, like you’ve never fallen for a vampire?
Buffy: That was different.
Dawn: This the part where you tell me you’re not angry, just disappointed?
Giles: Pretty much, except for the bit about not being angry.
Many parts from the house of whine to come! :)
This section is parody and/or fictional, and is not endorsed or approved by Michelle Tractenberg or Mutant Enemy, Inc. We’re just having some fun here, folks.