Greatest Moooovie Quotes Of All Time

"Do you know what happens to a toad when it is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to anything thats struck by lightning." -Storm, X-men

"My parents are really religious. Whenever they go into their bedroom, I hear them screaming, JESUS!!" -Student, Jersey Girl

"/Have fun/Stay off the grass/Don't forget to wipe your...face/Dulak is the perfect place/" -Animatronic singers, Shrek

"Fire is good. Fire is your friend." Gene Hackman as the Hermit, "Young Frankenstein"

"Wait! I was going to make espresso!" Gene Hackman as the Hermit, "Young Frankenstein"

"Filmmaking is not about the details...its about the big picture"

Ed Wood

(can't remember the guy's name): I don't think you have the balls for this job

M: I may not, but then I don't have to think with them either
(not sure that's the exact quote... but close enough... I'll check it later...)

James Bond - Tomorrow Never Dies

Rebecca: "He's being such butt-smear."
Tank Girl: "Hey! Don't say butt-smear. It's not becoming. Say asshole, or dickwad." -Tank Girl

"Don't think - do."

Bruce Lee, ENTER THE DRAGON

Tony: What about Pam?
Charlie: She smelled like soup.

- So My Wife Is An Axe Murderer

"Don't dream it...BE IT!" - Rocky Horror Picture Show

"Sunday drivers! It's only Saturday..." - Spice World

Warren: Who glued these quarters down?
A.J.: I did.
Warren: What the hell for man?
A.J.: I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.

- Empire Records

Babysitter: Now you all just sit there and keep your mouths shut, while I go listen to my Britney Spears records!

- South Park: The Movie rollin'

OOOOooh back to school back to school to prove to dad i'm not a fool.
I've got my lunch packed up my boots tied tight...
I hope i dont get in a fight!
Ooooooooh Back to school.

Not so much a quote as a little song... but.... Billy madison... "Billy Madison"

Hey Real have you seen '50 first dates'? That movie was hellarious! Laughing

No... but i want to... *drool* Drew Barrymore..... *drool*

Aaaaaand another quote for the road. Lilo and Stitch!

"My name is Stitch... This is my family, it is little and broken but still good (looks over shoulder) Yeah! Still good!"

Sad So so so damn cute! I love that movie!!!

Sam Diamond: "The last time that I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940. She said she was going out to get a bottle of wine. Two hours later, the Germans marched into France."

Murder By Death

Sonja: Judgment of any system, or a priori relationship or phenomenon exists in an irrational, or metaphysical, or at least epistemological contradiction to an abstract empirical concept such as being, or to be, or to occur in the thing itself, or of the thing itself.

Boris: Yes, I've said that many times.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Countess Alexandrovna: My bedroom at midnight?
Boris: Perfect. Will you be there too?
Countess Alexandrovna: Naturally.
Boris: Until midnight then.
Countess Alexandrovna: [presses his hand to her bosom] Midnight.
Boris: Make it a quarter to twelve.
Countess Alexandrovna: Midnight.
Boris: But of course.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Countess Alexandrovna: Would you like some wine? Something to put you in the mood?
Boris: I've been in the mood since the late 1700's.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: Sonja, are you scared of dying?
Sonja: Scared is the wrong word. I'm frightened of it.
Boris: That's an interesting distinction.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mother: He'll go and he'll fight, and I hope they will put him in the front lines.
Boris: Thanks a lot, Mom. My mother, folks.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drill Sergeant: You want a dishonorable discharge?
Boris: Yes sir, either that or a furlough.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Drill Sergeant: One, two, one, two, one, two.
Boris: Three is next, if you're having any trouble.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anton: Grushenko? Isn't he the young coward all St. Petersburg is talking about?
Boris: I'm not so young. I'm thirty-five.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anton: If you so much as come near the Countess, I'll see that you never see the light of day again.
Boris: If a man said that to me, I'd break his neck.
Anton: *I* am a man.
Boris: Well, I mean a much shorter man.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: I have no fear of the gallows.
Father: No?
Boris: No. Why should I? They're going to shoot me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Countess Alexandrovna: You are the greatest lover I've ever had.
Boris: Well, I practice a lot when I'm alone.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: I'm having trouble adjusting my belt. Do you think you could come over here and hold my bosom for a while?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Napoleon: This is an honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS a greater honor for you.
Napoleon: And you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: I see our Spanish guests have a sense of humor.
Boris: She's a great kidder.
Sonja: No, you're a great kidder.
Boris: No, you're Don Francisco's sister.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for bookshelves.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Napoleon: I heard you speaking to someone.
Sonja: Oh, I was praying.
Napoleon: But I heard TWO voices.
Sonja: Well, I do both parts.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: There are many different kinds of love, Boris. There's love between a man and a woman; between a mother and son...
Boris: Two women. Let's not forget my favorite.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: And I want three children.
Boris: Yes. Yes. One of each.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anton Inbedkov: Shall we say pistols at dawn?
Boris Grushenko: Well, we can say it. I don't know what it means, but we can say it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inbedkov: [preparing for duel] We'll do it now... and to the death.
Boris: Oh no, I can't do anything to the death. Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition, and death is the worst thing for it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: He kissed me.
Boris: Any place I should know about?
Sonja: He warmed the cockles of my heart.
Boris: That's just great. Nothing like hot cockles.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: Boris, you can't be serious, you're talking about Mother Russia.
Boris: She's not my mother. My mother's standing right here, and she's not gonna let her youngest baby get shrapnel in his gums.
Mikhail: Our brother has a yellow streak down his back.
Boris: No, it's not down, it runs across.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soldier: Oh, God is testing us.
Boris: If he's gonna test us, why doesn't he give us a written?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: Hey, what is this, Slap Boris Day?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: Nothingness... non-existence... black emptiness...
Sonja: What did you say?
Boris: Oh, I was just planning my future.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: Granted, I have a few eccentricities. I won't eat any food that begins with the letter F. Like chicken, for instance.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: Oh don't, Boris, please. Sex without love is an empty experience.
Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: We have to take our possessions and flee. I'm very good at that. I was the men's freestyle fleeing champion two years in a row.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: What are you suggesting, passive resistance?
Boris: No, I'm suggesting active fleeing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Russian gentleman: So who is to say what is moral?
Sonja: Morality is subjective.
Russian gentleman: Subjectivity is objective.
Sonja: Moral notions imply attributes to substances which exist only in relational duality.
Russian gentleman: Not as an essential extension of ontological existence.
Sonja: Can we not talk about sex so much?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Boris is standing, looking at Napoleon, who's lying unconcious on the floor]
Boris: If I don't kill him he'll make war all through Europe. But murder... What would Socrates say? All those Greeks were homosexuals. Boy, they must have had some wild parties. I bet they all took a house together in Crete for the summer. A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates. Means all men are homosexuals. Heh... I'm not a homosexual. Once, some cossacks whisled at me. I, I have the kind of body that excites both persuasions. You know, some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't htink about sex at all, you know... they become lawyers.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boris: And you, Sonja, you look more beautiful standing here than you do in person.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sonja: Oh, Boris, I'm so unhappy.
Boris: Ohh, I wish you weren't.
Sonja: Voskovec and I quarrel frequently. I've become a scandal.
Boris: Poor Sonja.
Sonja: For the past weeks, I've visited Seretski in his room
Boris: Why? What's in his room? Oh...
Sonja: And before Seretski, Aleksei, and before Aleksei, Alegorian, and before Alegorian, Asimov, and...
Boris: Okay!
Sonja: Wait, I'm still on the A:s.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[last line]
Boris: The question is have I learned anything about life. Only that human being are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter... if it turns about that there is a god, I don't think that he is evil, I think that the worse thing you could say s that he is, basically, an under-achiever. After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I'm talking about. The key is, to not think of death as an end, but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses. Regarding love, heh, what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into. Well, that's about it for me folks. Goodbye

Love and Death(1975)

Boy: Hey what's your wig made out of?
Goth: YOU'RE MOM'S CHEST HAIR!!!!!!
- Mean Girls

...or something to that affect. I wasn't paying attention when I was watching it so I'm not sure if that's the exact quote.

Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name.
David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint.
Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was a Saint Hubbins?
David St. Hubbins: That's right, yes.
Marty DiBergi: What was he the saint of?
David St. Hubbins: He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Faith: Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lt. Hookstratten: May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Derek Smalls: We're lucky.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah.
Derek Smalls: I mean, people should be envying us, you know.
David St. Hubbins: I envy us.
Derek Smalls: Yeah.
David St. Hubbins: I do.
Derek Smalls: Me too.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Asked to write his own epitaph]
David St. Hubbins: Here lies David St. Hubbins... and why not?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mick Shrimpton: As long as there's, you know, sex and drugs, I can do without the rock and roll.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reading a review of Spinal Tap's latest album]
Marty DiBergi: "This pretentious ponderous collection of religious rock psalms is enough to prompt the question, 'What day did the Lord create Spinal Tap, and couldn't he have rested on that day too?'"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That tended to understate the hugeness of the object.
Ian Faith: I really think you're just making much too big a thing out of it.
Derek Smalls: Making a big thing out of it would have been a good idea.
Ian Faith: Nigel gave me a drawing that said 18 inches. Now, whether or not he knows the difference between feet and inches is not my problem. I do what I'm told.
David St. Hubbins: But you're not as confused as him are you. I mean, it's not your job to be as confused as Nigel.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: We say, "Love your brother." We don't say it really, but...
Nigel Tufnel: We don't literally say it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't say it.
Nigel Tufnel: We don't really, actually mean it.
David St. Hubbins: No, we don't believe it either, but...
Nigel Tufnel: But we're not racists.
David St. Hubbins: But that message should be clear.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: You can't really dust for vomit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: They were still booing him when we came on stage.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [Pause] These go to eleven.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Nigel Tufnel is showing Marty DiBergi one of his favorite guitars]
Nigel Tufnel: The sustain, listen to it.
Marty DiBergi: I don't hear anything.
Nigel Tufnel: Well you would though, if it were playing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Derek Smalls sets off a metal detector at the airport]
Airport Security Officer: Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
Derek Smalls: Er, not really.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Reading a review of the album "Shark Sandwich"]
Marty DiBergi: Two words: shit sandwich.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Derek Smalls: It's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry."
Nigel Tufnel: That's just nitpicking, isn't it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Discussing Nigel's Guitar collection]
Nigel Tufnel: Look... still has the old tag on, never even played it.
Marty DiBergi: [points his finger] You've never played...?
Nigel Tufnel: Don't touch it!
Marty DiBergi: We'll I wasn't going to touch it, I was just pointing at it.
Nigel Tufnel: Well... don't point!
Marty DiBergi: Don't point, okay. can I look at it?
Nigel Tufnel: No.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[When asked what happened to their first drummer]
David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marty DiBergi: Do you feel that playing rock 'n' roll music keeps you a child? That is, keeps you in a state of arrested development?
Derek Smalls: No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.
Marty DiBergi: So when you're playing you feel like a preserved moose on stage?
Derek Smalls: Yeah.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nigel Tufnel: We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Faith: The Boston gig has been cancelled...
David St. Hubbins: What?
Ian Faith: Yeah. I wouldn't worry about it though, it's not a big college town.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
David St. Hubbins: [singing] Big bottom, big bottom / Talk about mud flaps, my girl's got 'em!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Faith: I've got a small bit of bad news.
Derek Smalls: Makes a change doesn't it.
Ian Faith: We've been cancelled here.
David St Hubbins: At the hotel?
Ian Faith: No. The gig is cancelled.

This is Spinal Tap(1984)

Have we done "Finding Nemo" yet? Can't remember and I'm too lazy to look back through 5 pages. So here's some of my favorites:

Dory: Hey Mr. Grumpy gills.

Marlin: Happy feeling's gone. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Marlin: Hey, that snail was about to charge.

Crush: Oh, intros. Jellyman, offspring. Offspring, Jellyman.

Gil: Quick! To the top of Mount Wannahockaloogie!

"Ah, but you are alone. Who knows what you have spoken to the darkness, alone, in the bitter watches of the night, when all your life seems to shrink, the walls of your bower closing in about you, a hutch to trammel some wild thing in? So fair, yet so cold like a morning of pale Spring still clinging to Winter" - Wormtongue (TTT)

All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you" -- Gandalf ( ROTK)

"Always remember Frodo, the Ring is trying to get back to its master. It wants to be found" -- Gandalf (FOTR)

"An Alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together. We come to honor that allegiance" -- Haldir (TTT)

"Anduril, flame of the west, forged from the shards of narsil. The man who can wield the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walk this earth" -- Elrond (ROTK)

"End? The journey doesn’t end here. Death is just another path, one we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it..."
"What? Gandalf? See what?"
"White shores... and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise"
"Well, that isn’t so bad"
"No, no it isn’t" -- Gandalf and Pippin (ROTK)

"From the ashes a fire shall be woken. A light from the darkness shall spring. Renewed shall be blade that was broken. The crownless again shall be king" -- Arwen (ROTK)

"Give that to us, Deagol my love"
"Why?"
"Because it's my birthday, and I wants it" -- Sméagol and Déagol (ROTK)

"Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets?" -- Boromir (FOTR)

He loves you, father!"
"Do not trouble me with Faramir, I know his uses and they are few" -- Boromir and Denethor (TTT)

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back? There are some things time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep... and take hold" -- Frodo (ROTK)

Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People's Front?
Reg: Fuck off! We're the People's Front of Judea

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reg: All right, but apart from the sanitation, medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Attendee: Brought peace?
Reg: Oh, peace - shut up!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reg: There is not one of us who would not gladly suffer death to rid this country of the Romans once and for all.
Dissenter: Uh, well, one.
Reg: Oh, yeah, yeah, there's one. But otherwise, we're solid.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian: Have I got a big nose, Mum?
Mandy: Stop thinking about sex!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wise man: We were led by a star.
Mandy: Led by a bottle, you mean.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mandy: What star sign is he?
Wise Man #2: Capricorn.
Mandy: Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
Wise Man #2: He is the son of God, our Messiah.
Wise Man #1: King of the Jews.
Mandy: And that's Capricorn, is it?
Wise Man #3: No, no, that's just him.
Mandy: Oh, I was going to say, otherwise there'd be a lot of them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Taking the gifts from the Three Wise Men and pushing them out the door]
Mandy: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye.
[Three wise men leave]
Mandy: Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mandy: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, fuck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian: You are all individuals!
The Crowd: We are all individuals!
Man in crowd: I'm not.
Brian: You have to be different!
The Crowd: Yes, we are all different!
Small lonely voice: I'm not!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the point?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal?
Matthias: No.
Centurion: Crucifixion!
Matthias: Oh.
Centurion: Nasty, eh?
Matthias: Could be worse.
Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"?
Matthias: Well, you could be stabbed.
Centurion: Stabbed? Takes a second. Crucifixion lasts hours. It's a slow, horrible death.
Matthias: Well, at least it gets you out in the open air.
Centurion: You're weird!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spectator I: I think it was "Blessed are the cheesemakers".
Bearded Man's Wife: Aha, what's so special about the cheesemakers?
Bearded Man: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[After correcting Brian's Latin graffiti]
Centurion: Right... now write that one hundred times.
Brian: Yes, yes, hail Caesar!
Centurion: Hail Caesar! If it is not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pontius Pilate: Stwike him, Centuwion. Stwike him vewy wuffly!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pontius Pilate: So, youw fawtha was a Woman. Who was he?
Brian: He was a Centurion, in the Jeruselem Garrison.
Pontius Pilate: What was his name?
Brian: Nauttius Maximus, sir.
Centurion: [giggle]
Pontius Pilate: Centuwion do you have anyone in your gawwison by that name?
Centurion: No, sir.
Pontius Pilate: Well you seem awfully sure, have you checked?
Centurion: I think its a joke, sir. Sort of like... uh... Sillius Sodus, or Biggus Dickus. (guards giggle)
Pontius Pilate: What's so funny about "Biggus Dickus?"
Centurion: Its a joke name, sir.
Pontius Pilate: I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome named "Biggus Dickus."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that has an attachment. At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before, about eight O'clock.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Brian: What will they do to me?
Ben the Prisoner: Oh you'll probably get away with crucifixion.
Brian: CRUCIFIXION?
Ben the Prisoner: Yeah, first offense.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[A line of prisoners files past a jailer]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Stan: Yes.
Coordinator: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.
[Next prisoner]
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Stan: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Stan: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Stan: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
Coordinator: [laughing] Oh yes, very good. Well...
Stan: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Centurion: You are fucking nicked, me old beauty!

Life of Brian (1979)

You're really on a role with these eh Mr P? Twisted Evil

Boredom is a curse, Wretch Rolling Eyes Wink

(Scene: Godzilla, Rodan, and Mothra are standing on a hilltop making noises at each other. Soem people are hiding in a nearby ditch.)

Guy on the left: Waht are they saying?

Guy in the middle: Why ask me? I don't speak monster.
(Ghidrah, the Mosnter from Space)
_---_______________________________________________

(Backstage at a theatre;the gang of Juvie D.s have just grown into giants. One girl pullls down a curtain and wraps it around ehrself.)

Beau Bridges: What's the matter, don't you like your new body?
Joy Hammond: I was big enough before.

(Later the boy scientist is mixing chemicals to try to find a cure. suddenly the brew in the bottle turns into a giant centipede which crawls outthe top and runs under the wall)

Ronny Howard (deadpan): Interesting. I'll have to try that again soemtime.

(Village of the Giants)

Try not. Do or Do not. There is no try.-YODA Very Happy -one of the original Star Wars movies. Exclamation