nighthawkTHREAD STARTER
was going through my computer files and found these from times past...though i would post them up for enjoyment...
ok, i told you all this was coming...and since i haven't been here as much as i'd like recently i thought this would be a good way to get back into your good graces...
Disclaimer: Some of you who are minions of The Ultimate Drew will recognize some of the wording here. But hey, I'm giving him credit...why try to reinvent the wheel when the inventor gave you great blueprints!
The State of the Harem Address
Faithful Hotties, it is I, your Sultan. As I look over our vast numbers, one word springs to mind: "Magnificent!" Our ranks have grown slowly but I have faith that we will soon be in double figures (insert *weg* here). This is excellent.
But there is work to be done, people to recruit, songs about me to be written, kneels of subjecation to be made. Nobody said this would be easy. But dammit, i'm worth it!
While going through your days (obviously pining away for my presence) remember these few points:
1. You are my Hotties (notice the capital "H"...this makes you special!) As Hotties you represent me at all times. So make sure you always act cool and let the *wegs* flow like wine.
2. As Hotties you will notice that people treat you differently. This is because you are better than them. Don't be surprised if they resent you.
3. Don't put up with that crap.
4. My Hotties are the finest Hotties in the land and you deserve constant adulation from everyone you encounter.
5. If someone does not adulate you, kindly show them #4. If they still don't, give them the finger and perhaps a stern talking to. That'll show em!
6. Never be afraid to point out #'s 1-5 to other people.
Wear your numbers with pride, girls...it shows me that you are all great people. Nice job.
I'm thinking we need some type of shirts to show our solidarity...something see through as well...*weg*
In conclusion, I must say that i'm please with the turnout so far. I feel that we will be a force to reckon with in the coming months. Also, since we're a religious type of organization, shouldn't we get some sort of tax break now? I think so...
Remember our motto: Nothin' says lovin' like kisses from the Sultan!
Keep those recruits coming!
In *WEG* we trust,
Your Sultan
Hawk
Second Dislaimer: This is meant TOTALLY as a humorous post for my hotties. anyone else who reads this and takes offense gets my apologies. I know that some of this came from The Ultimate Drew and if you insist on letting me know that or hold it against me I direct you to #5 on the list...just kidding...
and next...
First off let me preface this by saying that I know this isn't "technically" the Ides of March...but noone was around this weekend so I'm taking some artistic license...any problems with that? good...now on to the fun...
The State of the Harem
March (15) 17, 2003
My faithful and loving Hotties (again notice the captial "H" ), it is I, your Sultan...what? you didn't think I was REALLY gonna leave you all hanging did you? hmmmm....
As we stand on the verge of war, only the thought of your undying devotion to me has kept me from being completely devoured by the forces of darkness and thier minion: Evil Boss Man (hereafter referred to as EBM)
I only hope that in my absence you have not forgotten me or the cause for which we stand. Therefore, I have more words of encouragement for you.
I will dispense them....now.
1. Wear sunscreen. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my words of encouragement have no basis more reliable than my own semi-intelligent ramblings....
2. If anyone asks why you are a Hottie, just stare at them in disbelief...eventually they'll go away. Try it, it works.
3. If you get into a sticky situation, just ask yourself "What would our Sultan do?" (insert many *wegs* here) After gathering your thoughts, just do whatever you want...You make good choices. You ARE Hotties, after all!
4. Every now and then just say my name outloud. It'll make you feel all tingly inside.
5. If, after saying this, you receive wierd looks from other people, please refer to #2.
6. But trust me on the sunscreen...
As I close out this, our second State of the Harem Address, I look over our *ahem* vast numbers and again I say "Magnificient."
Give yourselves a round of applause or a hearty pat on the back...You deserve it.
In *WEG* we trust,
Your Sultan
Hawk
and the "finale"
Most of the time i go for the comedy (much like my beloved white knight) But in the last few days i've noticed a trend on the Board (even tho i don't post much, i still lurk to check up on my Hotties!) I felt with my final(?) State of the Harem Address I should address some of the situations that have come about in the Buffyverse and on HMC...
Some of this is mine, some not...however, i put quite a bit of time into so please don't be too harsh...however, as i state in my address, opinions here are highly regarded, whether i agree with them or not..
also, a question for my wonderful Hotties who have been sooooo good to me over the course of the last few months...
I feel that i have let you all down in ways that are unforgivable. As your Sultan, I am giving you the opportunity to resign from the Harem if you so wish. Or, should the Harem continue on stronger than ever? Either way, I will forever be indebted to you and love you all.
Now, on with the show...please hold your applause and adulation till the end. Thank you.
The State of the Harem, April 15, 2003
In the beginning, God created man...who then proceeded to ask God "Where the heck are all the women?"
Everyday just remember Rule #2 from the first SotH Address...
2. As Hotties you will notice that people treat you differently. This is because you are better than them. Don't be surprised if they resent you.
It's true...trust me...
Every so often, by law and by custom, we meet here to consider the State of the Harem. This time, we gather in this chamber deeply aware of decisive days that lie ahead.
You as Hotties serve the Harem in a time of great consequence. During this time, we have the duty to reform issues vital to our community; we have the opportunity to save millions of lives abroad from a terrible disease (well, not so much). We will work for a prosperity that is broadly shared, and we will answer every danger and every enemy that threatens the community of Hellmouth Central.
In all these days of promise and days of reckoning, we can be confident. In a whirlwind of change and hope and peril, our faith is sure, our resolve is firm, and our union is strong.
This coommunity has had many challenges. We will not deny, we will not ignore, we will not pass along our problems to other Coommunities, to other leaders, and other generations. We will confront them with focus and clarity and courage.
During the last seven years, we have seen what can be accomplished when we work together. To lift the standards of cable television we gasped when buffy died (the first time), screamed when angel became angelus (again, the first time), cried when buffy had to kill angel to save the world, laughed when xander got the funny syphillis, cried again when oz left, cried again when joyce died, cried again when buffy died (again), and screamed in agony when spike kissed buffy in his dream (c'mon, even you spuffy peeps KNOW you did too!!!).
Now, we must face our most dire challenge of all: life without our one link to each other gone....forever.
Some of you out there (not members of the Harem for sure!) have begun to fantasize about what will happen to this great community when the final credit has rolled. Some have gone so far as to ask "Who's staying and who's leaving?" I say that we should strengthen the community by treating people equally and creating a place where different views are supported openly and fairly and stop this whole mess of "buffy's over, now everything else should end as well."
We must work together to uphhold our most important priorities. A growing community and a focus on essential priorities will also be crucial to the future of Hellmouth Central. As we continue to work together to keep this place a reliable and valuable place to chat, voice opinions and develop friendships, we cannot...no, we WILL NOT go wrong.
I urge you to pass these measures, for the good of both our community and our sanity. Even more, I ask you to take a crucial step and protect our place here in ways that generations before us could not have imagined.
We seek peace. We strive for peace. And sometimes peace must be defended. A future lived at the mercy of terrible threats is no peace at all. If war is forced upon us, we will fight in a just cause and by just means -- sparing, in every way we can, the innocent. And if war is forced upon us, we will fight with the full force and might of the Harem Hotties -- and we will prevail.
Many challenges have arrived in a single season. In seven years, buffy has gone from a "cute" show about some teenagers to an edgy, sometimes painful portrait of everyday life. We can only hope that whatever happens, we will stand the test of time and not go the way of the winds when the final curtain falls.
Hotties are resolute people who have risen to every test of our time. Adversity has revealed our character, to the world and to ourselves. The Harem and HMC is a strong community, and we will not falter.
We should have faith in ourselves, but not in ourselves alone. We do not know -- we do not claim to know all the ways of Joss, yet we can trust in them, placing our confidence in the fact that we had seven wonderful years. Seven years to know, love, laugh and yes, cry.
I love you all...and not just my Hotties...
Here endeth the lesson
Your Sultan,
Hawk
ok, i told you all this was coming...and since i haven't been here as much as i'd like recently i thought this would be a good way to get back into your good graces...
Disclaimer: Some of you who are minions of The Ultimate Drew will recognize some of the wording here. But hey, I'm giving him credit...why try to reinvent the wheel when the inventor gave you great blueprints!
The State of the Harem Address
Faithful Hotties, it is I, your Sultan. As I look over our vast numbers, one word springs to mind: "Magnificent!" Our ranks have grown slowly but I have faith that we will soon be in double figures (insert *weg* here). This is excellent.
But there is work to be done, people to recruit, songs about me to be written, kneels of subjecation to be made. Nobody said this would be easy. But dammit, i'm worth it!
While going through your days (obviously pining away for my presence) remember these few points:
1. You are my Hotties (notice the capital "H"...this makes you special!) As Hotties you represent me at all times. So make sure you always act cool and let the *wegs* flow like wine.
2. As Hotties you will notice that people treat you differently. This is because you are better than them. Don't be surprised if they resent you.
3. Don't put up with that crap.
4. My Hotties are the finest Hotties in the land and you deserve constant adulation from everyone you encounter.
5. If someone does not adulate you, kindly show them #4. If they still don't, give them the finger and perhaps a stern talking to. That'll show em!
6. Never be afraid to point out #'s 1-5 to other people.
Wear your numbers with pride, girls...it shows me that you are all great people. Nice job.
I'm thinking we need some type of shirts to show our solidarity...something see through as well...*weg*
In conclusion, I must say that i'm please with the turnout so far. I feel that we will be a force to reckon with in the coming months. Also, since we're a religious type of organization, shouldn't we get some sort of tax break now? I think so...
Remember our motto: Nothin' says lovin' like kisses from the Sultan!
Keep those recruits coming!
In *WEG* we trust,
Your Sultan
Hawk
Second Dislaimer: This is meant TOTALLY as a humorous post for my hotties. anyone else who reads this and takes offense gets my apologies. I know that some of this came from The Ultimate Drew and if you insist on letting me know that or hold it against me I direct you to #5 on the list...just kidding...
and next...
First off let me preface this by saying that I know this isn't "technically" the Ides of March...but noone was around this weekend so I'm taking some artistic license...any problems with that? good...now on to the fun...
The State of the Harem
March (15) 17, 2003
My faithful and loving Hotties (again notice the captial "H" ), it is I, your Sultan...what? you didn't think I was REALLY gonna leave you all hanging did you? hmmmm....
As we stand on the verge of war, only the thought of your undying devotion to me has kept me from being completely devoured by the forces of darkness and thier minion: Evil Boss Man (hereafter referred to as EBM)
I only hope that in my absence you have not forgotten me or the cause for which we stand. Therefore, I have more words of encouragement for you.
I will dispense them....now.
1. Wear sunscreen. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my words of encouragement have no basis more reliable than my own semi-intelligent ramblings....
2. If anyone asks why you are a Hottie, just stare at them in disbelief...eventually they'll go away. Try it, it works.
3. If you get into a sticky situation, just ask yourself "What would our Sultan do?" (insert many *wegs* here) After gathering your thoughts, just do whatever you want...You make good choices. You ARE Hotties, after all!
4. Every now and then just say my name outloud. It'll make you feel all tingly inside.
5. If, after saying this, you receive wierd looks from other people, please refer to #2.
6. But trust me on the sunscreen...
As I close out this, our second State of the Harem Address, I look over our *ahem* vast numbers and again I say "Magnificient."
Give yourselves a round of applause or a hearty pat on the back...You deserve it.
In *WEG* we trust,
Your Sultan
Hawk
and the "finale"
Most of the time i go for the comedy (much like my beloved white knight) But in the last few days i've noticed a trend on the Board (even tho i don't post much, i still lurk to check up on my Hotties!) I felt with my final(?) State of the Harem Address I should address some of the situations that have come about in the Buffyverse and on HMC...
Some of this is mine, some not...however, i put quite a bit of time into so please don't be too harsh...however, as i state in my address, opinions here are highly regarded, whether i agree with them or not..
also, a question for my wonderful Hotties who have been sooooo good to me over the course of the last few months...
I feel that i have let you all down in ways that are unforgivable. As your Sultan, I am giving you the opportunity to resign from the Harem if you so wish. Or, should the Harem continue on stronger than ever? Either way, I will forever be indebted to you and love you all.
Now, on with the show...please hold your applause and adulation till the end. Thank you.
The State of the Harem, April 15, 2003
In the beginning, God created man...who then proceeded to ask God "Where the heck are all the women?"
Everyday just remember Rule #2 from the first SotH Address...
2. As Hotties you will notice that people treat you differently. This is because you are better than them. Don't be surprised if they resent you.
It's true...trust me...
Every so often, by law and by custom, we meet here to consider the State of the Harem. This time, we gather in this chamber deeply aware of decisive days that lie ahead.
You as Hotties serve the Harem in a time of great consequence. During this time, we have the duty to reform issues vital to our community; we have the opportunity to save millions of lives abroad from a terrible disease (well, not so much). We will work for a prosperity that is broadly shared, and we will answer every danger and every enemy that threatens the community of Hellmouth Central.
In all these days of promise and days of reckoning, we can be confident. In a whirlwind of change and hope and peril, our faith is sure, our resolve is firm, and our union is strong.
This coommunity has had many challenges. We will not deny, we will not ignore, we will not pass along our problems to other Coommunities, to other leaders, and other generations. We will confront them with focus and clarity and courage.
During the last seven years, we have seen what can be accomplished when we work together. To lift the standards of cable television we gasped when buffy died (the first time), screamed when angel became angelus (again, the first time), cried when buffy had to kill angel to save the world, laughed when xander got the funny syphillis, cried again when oz left, cried again when joyce died, cried again when buffy died (again), and screamed in agony when spike kissed buffy in his dream (c'mon, even you spuffy peeps KNOW you did too!!!).
Now, we must face our most dire challenge of all: life without our one link to each other gone....forever.
Some of you out there (not members of the Harem for sure!) have begun to fantasize about what will happen to this great community when the final credit has rolled. Some have gone so far as to ask "Who's staying and who's leaving?" I say that we should strengthen the community by treating people equally and creating a place where different views are supported openly and fairly and stop this whole mess of "buffy's over, now everything else should end as well."
We must work together to uphhold our most important priorities. A growing community and a focus on essential priorities will also be crucial to the future of Hellmouth Central. As we continue to work together to keep this place a reliable and valuable place to chat, voice opinions and develop friendships, we cannot...no, we WILL NOT go wrong.
I urge you to pass these measures, for the good of both our community and our sanity. Even more, I ask you to take a crucial step and protect our place here in ways that generations before us could not have imagined.
We seek peace. We strive for peace. And sometimes peace must be defended. A future lived at the mercy of terrible threats is no peace at all. If war is forced upon us, we will fight in a just cause and by just means -- sparing, in every way we can, the innocent. And if war is forced upon us, we will fight with the full force and might of the Harem Hotties -- and we will prevail.
Many challenges have arrived in a single season. In seven years, buffy has gone from a "cute" show about some teenagers to an edgy, sometimes painful portrait of everyday life. We can only hope that whatever happens, we will stand the test of time and not go the way of the winds when the final curtain falls.
Hotties are resolute people who have risen to every test of our time. Adversity has revealed our character, to the world and to ourselves. The Harem and HMC is a strong community, and we will not falter.
We should have faith in ourselves, but not in ourselves alone. We do not know -- we do not claim to know all the ways of Joss, yet we can trust in them, placing our confidence in the fact that we had seven wonderful years. Seven years to know, love, laugh and yes, cry.
I love you all...and not just my Hotties...
Here endeth the lesson
Your Sultan,
Hawk
Sultan of Hawk's Harem
DOWK #2
(Still) Minion of Ultimate Drew #151
And all the others I forgot. :)
DOWK #2
(Still) Minion of Ultimate Drew #151
And all the others I forgot. :)