Dear Boy

Starring: David Boreanaz as Angel, Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, Alexis Denisof as Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, and J. August Richards as Charles Gunn

Guest starring: Elisabeth Rohm as Kate Lockley, Christian Kane as Lindsey McDonald, Andy Hallett as The Host, Juliet Landau as Drusilla, and Julie Benz as Darla

Original air date: October 24, 2000

Written & Directed by: David Greenwalt

The lobby of the Hyperion Hotel. Cordelia is reviewing the Angel Investigations finances, Wes is doing some research, and Angel is awake for the first time in three days but is too tired to pick up a cup of tea. Cordelia announces that if they do some cost cutting and get some new paying clients AI is solvent through the previous week. Cordy and Wes start talking about the finances but their discussion quickly escalates into an argument. Cordy wants to pay Wes a fixed amount for each demon Wes identifies while Wes suggests that Cordy gets paid only when she has visions. Angel tries to break up the argument by telling both Wes and Cordy that something will turn up. Just then Cordelia has a vision. She sees minions in red robes fighting with minions in black robes and a “mushy” monster. Cordy thinks that the two groups of minions are fighting over how to worship the monster. As Cordy explains her vision to Wes Angel somehow dozes off and dreams of Darla: Darla is sitting on Angel’s lap and they are kissing. Angel breaks out of his nap very suddenly and is startled but what he saw and felt. Cordy is explaining to Wes that they need to find the place where the demon is - that’s what’s important. Cordy describes the location of her vision - underground, with pillars, and sacred. Angel guesses that the place might be an underground water tank built upon a native American burial ground. The AI team assembles, with Gunn, to go fight the demon.

At the water tank the black and red minions are fighting when Angel, Gunn, Wes, and Cordelia arrive. Angel guesses that the minions are controlled by a thrall demon and, if they kill the demon, the minions will stop fighting. Wes agrees, in theory, but says that thrall demons can be tricky. Cordy’s just glad that the minions are fighting each other instead of the AI crew. Ooops. Cordy spoke too soon! The thrall demon sees the AI team and sends the black- and red-robed minions to attack Gunn, Cordy, Wes, and Angel. As the rest of the team fights Angel pummels a red-robed minion with a single-minded determinedness that is scary. Angel is so focused on hitting the minion that Angel doesn’t recognize that Gunn needs help fighting off a couple of minions, nor does Angel realize that Gunn has buried his very scary axe in the thrall demon’s skull, un-thralling the minions. It isn’t until Wes distracts Angel that Angel stops hitting the minions.

With the thrall demon dead the minions are no longer under any mind control so they, and the AI team, leave. Gunn is not happy with Angel and accuses Angel of forgetting that they use teamwork to get the job done. Angel tells Cordy to take the car and Angel walks off alone. Wes and Cordy both try to explain Angel’s behavior to Gunn, but Gunn is unimpressed.

Angel is walking down a street with lots of vendors and pedestrians. As Angel is walking he thinks he sees Darla out of the corner of his eye. The more Angel looks at this blonde woman the more intent he is - she looks and walks like Darla even though Angel knows he killed Darla almost four years earlier (see BtVS 1.7, “Angel”). Angel is stunned.

Europe, 1860. Angelus is walking down a street, senses something down an alley, reaches out his hand and finds Darla. Darla has just killed Lord Nichol and the prostitute he was haggling with. Darla is very excited - she has a surprise for Angelus. The walk to the end of the alley and Darla tells Angelus he has to guess the surprise. A family of five, with three daughters, walks down the street. This is Angelus’s surprise. Angelus can sense that the daughter in the middle is pure and innocent and thinks she might be a saint, but Darla tells him that she (who we later learn is Drusilla) has the sight. Angelus is impatient - he wants to take Drusilla now and is excited that Drusilla knows what Angelus will do to her. But Darla convinces Angelus to wait, and “let the plum ripen.”

L.A., present day: Angel is trying to follow the blonde woman who resembles Darla through the crowd but loses her in a fraction of a second. Angel is visibly shaken by what he’s seen.

The next morning Cordy and Wes are interviewing a new client, Mr. Jeakins, whose wife is being abducted by aliens. Uh, ok. Mr. Jeakins is concerned because his wife was supposed to be in the Trifid Nebula the weekend before, but he found a receipt from a local hotel dated the same weekend. Angel emerges from the hotel basement very distracted. When Mr. Jeakins asks Angel if the wife is cheating on him, Angel replies that she probably is. Cordy and Wes desperately try to cover for Angel’s fumble with their new client.

Cordy rants a bit about Angel’s inherent ability to drive away their only paying client and Angel, curiously, starts sniffing Cordy’s hair. Cordy gets really upset - this is pretty freaky behavior for Angel. Angel tells Cordy that his weird behavior is because of “her” and seeing her in town last night. Cordy thinks Angel saw Buffy but Angel explains that he’s been dreaming about Darla, the woman who made Angel a vampire. When Wes tells Angel that it’s impossible that Darla is anywhere, Angel tells him that his is *sure* that the woman he saw on the promenade last night was Darla and that she is alive. Cordy urges Angel to throw himself in his work as a distraction, but Angel can’t stop thinking about Darla. Wes suggests that Angel *thinks* he saw Darla because Angel has been dreaming about her. But Angel just isn’t sure.

Across town at Wolfram & Hart Darla tells Lindsey that Angel is beginning to fall apart, become unhinged. Lindsey couldn’t be more thrilled. Apparently Darla has been giving Wolfram & Hart lots of information on Angel since she was resurrected (see AtS 1.22, “To Shanshu in L.A.”) for which Lindsey is greatful. Darla asks Lindsey what Wolfram & Hart’s great plan is for Angel to which Lindsey replies that they want him “dark.” Darla asks Lindsey if Angel was responsible for the loss of Lindsey’s hand and Lindsey says ‘yes.’ Darla holds Lindsey’s prosthetic hand and asks him if he feels anything. Lindsey tells Darla he doesn’t feel anything. . . in his hand. Lindsey asks Darla what it’s like seeing Angel again. Darla tells him that it’s strange. Darla still has her nose out of joint because the once powerful Angelus got a soul and became a mopey, glum “do-gooder.”

At police headquarters Kate talks with one of the other detectives, Jack. Kate’s hurt because Jack doesn’t call her to talk but Jack complains that Kate’s weirdo obsession with freaky cases made her an outcast. Still, Jack gives Kate an envelope from “a friend of a friend.” Inside is a picture of the Hyperion Hotel, a business card from Angel Investigations, and a post-it reading “He’s moved.” Kate tells Jack thanks.

In the meantime Cordelia is dressed in a tacky cocktail waitresses uniform, waiting on tables and spying on Mrs. Jeakins in a hotel. Angel is across the hotel lobby listening to Mrs. Jeakins joke about “the aliens” and their abductions while Wes takes photos surreptitiously. As Mrs. Jeakins moves to go upstairs with her paramour Angel interrupts her. Angel tells Mrs. Jeakins that the AI team has been following her all day taping and taking photos. Angel does not like being a seedy divorce PI so Angel tells her that Mr. Jeakins knows and that the two of them should work it out. As Angel moves to leave Cordy starts in on him and how they’ve just lost a paying client. Angel doesn’t pay much attention to Cordy, though, because he sees Darla leaving the hotel. Angel accosts Darla and accuses her of trying to “pass” as human and playing some mind games on Angel. When hotel security comes over Darla tells him that she is DeEtta Kramer and that she was just trying to leave the hotel when Angel assaulted her. As the security guard tries to stop Angel, Angel throws him across the room and Darla/DeEtta runs for the door yelling her husband’s name. Angel is very, very surprised when Darla/DeEtta stands in bright sunlight with her husband without spontaneously combusting.

When they arrive at the Hyperion, Cordy is still yelling at Angel about the incident at the hotel with Darla/DeEtta. Wes thinks that there might be a “silver lining.” Because the woman that they saw stood in direct sunlight and didn’t flame into dust, Angel must have made a mistake. The woman can’t be Darla. Angel disagrees - that woman is Darla. Angel knows her scent and knows that Darla is somehow human now. When Wes doubts that Angel can identify someone by scent Angel sniffs Wes once and tells him that Wes had sex the night before with a bleached blonde. Wes is stunned that Angel could tell. When Angel can’t find a listing for DeEtta or Stephen Kramer in the phone book he tells Wes and Cordy to do a title search and look for them. Angel is going to try another route - singing for The Host at Caritas. Wes is dumbfounded but Angel tells him that Angel will do whatever it takes to figure out what is going on.

At Caritas Angel is singing a bad rendition of Wang Chung’s “Everybody have fun tonight.” Surprisingly, the crowd is politely listening to Angel’s singing. Angel cuts the song off and apologizes to the crowd. After he leaves the stage Angel demands that The Host tell Angel about Darla. According to The Host, Angel is at a crucial juncture and The Host tells Angel to forget about the girl and go home because “that way lies badness.” Angel isn’t satisfied. He wants information about Darla and wants to know why The Host won’t tell Angel anything, especially when The Host will tell horrible demons just about anything. When Angel demands, again, that The Host tell him about Darla The Host simply tells Angel that he can’t start anything in Caritas and to have a drink on the house. Unfazed Angel calls the hotel and talks to Cordy. Angel wants to know if she or Wes have turned up an address on DeEtta Kramer. When Cordy tries to tell Angel how she feels about his obsession with Darla Angel cuts Cordy off and demands the address so Cordy does. Wes is very concerned about Angel and his behavior so Wes grabs a tranquilizer gun and calls Gunn.

Angel is standing outside a house and, through the living room window, can see Darla kissing her husband, Stephen. Darla and Stephen get up and head into the dining room and sit down to dinner. Stephen asks Darla if he really should be pulling out her chair if the two of them have been married so long. Turns out “Stephen” is an actor hired to play the part of Stephen Kramer. ‘Stephen’ keeps babbling on and on and on and finally Darla can’t stand it anymore. Darla grabs ‘Stephen’s’ crotch and tells him to shut up or Darla will kill him. Darla calls out for Lindsey who is at Wolfram & Hart listening in via a bug. Lindsey tells Darla to wait a few more minutes to get all the pieces in place.

Gunn has arrived at the Hyperion and Wes and Cordy are briefing him on how bad Angel can be when he becomes Angelus. Gunn is a little surprised to find out that Angel can become evil, is very not happy to find out that Angelus was the baddest vamp around before he got his soul back, and is downright worried when he finds out that Angelus was at his worst when he was with Darla, his sire. Gunn wants to know how bad it can possibly get if Angelus and Darla hook back up.

Europe, 1860: Angelus has just rampaged through a convent killing nuns and acolytes leaving habits and blood everywhere. Darla arrives and comments about the mess but Angelus simply tells Darla that convents are just his versions of a ‘cookie jar.’ As Darla and Angelus kiss Drusilla, who is sitting on the floor, starts talking, babbling nonsensically. Angelus has killed all of Drusilla’s family so Darla wants to know when they will kill Drusilla - during sex or just after. Angelus’s answer surprises Darla. Angelus wants to turn Drusilla into a vampire because simply killing Drusilla would be just too merciful. If Drusilla dies then her torment would end, and Angelus wants Drusilla’s torment to continue forever. Darla and Angelus roll around on the floor kissing and eventually roll into Drusilla’s lap. Darla looks concerned when Angelus asks Darla, “Eternal torment. Am I learning?” Drusilla starts to cry hysterically.

Present day L.A.: Darla is done being patient and Lindsey tells her to go ahead with the plan. Darla calls 911 and reports that a man has broken into her house and is going to kill her and Stephen. Darla rips the phone out of the wall and tells a hired thug to “make it look real.” The thug hits Darla, knocking her down, then vamps out and goes after Stephen. Angel breaks down the door just in time to see Darla cowering on the floor and Stephen dead. The police arrive and think that Angel is the one who killed Stephen. When the police move to arrest Angel he looks at Darla and tells her that she will pay. Angel runs down the hall as the police pump several bullets into his back and Angel jumps through an access panel in the hallway ceiling to the attic. The cops move to surround the house to prevent Angel’s escape but they aren’t fast enough. Angel jumps down off the roof and the police try to catch him. A little later Kate Lockley is talking with Darla (who Kate thinks of as DeEtta). Kate tells DeEtta that ‘adrenaline’ allowed Angel to escape even though he’d been shot. DeEtta tells Kate that Angel had been stalking her for a few weeks and calling her Darla and about the encounter at the hotel earlier that day. Kate buys DeEtta’s story and vows to find Angel and make him pay. Kate walks away to talk to some police officers leaving Darla alone. Suddenly two arms come down from a tree above Darla’s head and Darla is whisked up into the tree.

At the Hyperion Wes and Cordy are still getting their research on and Gunn is pacing nervously. Gunn’s still trying to get used to the idea that Angel can go bad. And while Gunn respects Cordy’s and Wes’s loyalty to Angel, Gunn vows that he will kill bad Angel in “two seconds flat.” Suddenly Kate and a bunch of SWAT guys bust into the lobby looking for Angel. Kate sends the SWAT guys to search the hotel while she grills Wes, Cordy, and Gunn. When Wes wants to see Kate’s warrant she tells the AI team that Angel killed Stephen Kramer and kidnapped DeEtta. Both Cordy and Wes defend Angel and tell Kate that Angel wouldn’t do something like that. Kate threatens both Cordy and Wes and tells them to help her find Angel or go down with the boss. In unison Cordy and Wes cross their arms in front of their chest. They don’t plan on helping Kate at all so Kate descends on Gunn. Kate wants all the info she can get on Gunn so has one of the cops run Gunn’s rap sheet. Then, point blank, she asks Wes who Darla is.

Across town Angel is dragging Darla down into the underground water tank where the AI team recently killed the thrall demon. Angel figures out that Darla was resurrected in the box several months ago by Wolfram & Hart (see AtS 1.22, “To Shanshu in L.A.”) and tells Darla that, if Wolfram & Hart are betting that Angel won’t kill a human, they don’t know Angel very well at all. Darla tries to run away but Angel stops her. Angel asks Darla if she can feel that the water tank used to be a sacred place, a convent, and that Darla knows how fond Angel is of convents. Darla crosses herself which makes Angel laugh. Angel vamps out and attacks Darla telling her that she can scream all she wants. Darla drops all the pretense and starts kissing Angel saying “there’s my boy.”

Back at the Hyperion Kate has Gunn’s rap sheet and she’s giving Gunn a hard time about his past. Cordy comes to Gunn’s defense and tries to get on Kate’s good side by telling Kate that they are all interested in finding Angel. Kate disagrees. Kate tells Cordy that they want to protect Angel while Kate wants to bring Angel to justice for knocking down DeEtta’s door and killing Stephen. Wait a minute. . . that makes Gunn think. Gunn knows that Angel’s a vampire and vampires can’t enter a person’s home uninvited, so if Angel got into the house without an invitation that means the owners of the house, the true owners, were already dead. Kate’s still not convinced that Angel’s innocent until Wes shows Kate a daguerreotype of Darla taken over 100 years ago. The woman in the daguerreotype is the woman that Kate was talking to just a short time ago.

At the water tank Angel un-vamps and wants to know what game Darla is playing and wants to know what Wolfram & Hart have planned. Darla tells Angel the plan is simple. Wolfram & Hart want Angel so screwed up that he goes bad again. Darla apparently thinks that she and Angel can go back and relive their past - all of their wondrous evil deeds. But Angel reminds Darla that, because she’s human, she has a soul now. Angel warns Darla that pretty soon her fond memories of the past will become horrific. Darla will start remembering and reliving all of the pain and terror she inflicted on others. And Angel is speaking from experience. Yet Darla’s convinced that she can bring Angel back to the dark by giving him a moment of perfect happiness. Angel tells Darla that she took him to new places and ‘blew the top’ off of his head, but Darla never made Angel happy. Darla is stunned - she never made Angel happy in 150 years but Buffy did? (See BtVS 2.14, “Innocence.”) Darla thinks that it was just an age thing - after 150 years Angel thought Darla was stale but Buffy was fresh. Angel denies that his moment of happiness with Buffy had anything to do with age. Angel was happy with Buffy because Angel had a soul and could experience happiness. Angel tries to convince Darla that she now has a second chance, like he does but Darla doesn’t buy it. Darla thinks that Angel’s gift for violence and terror was innate and that becoming a vampire simply brought Angel’s darkness to the surface. And Darla wants Angel to be dark again.

Meanwhile the SWAT guys have finished searching the Hyperion and come up empty handed. Cordy, Wes and Gunn make a last ditch effort to convince Kate that Angel really is a good guy but Kate isn’t buying it. Kate believes that who ever Angel is fighting is causing innocent people to die, people caught in the cross fire. And it’s the deaths of those innocent people that Kate will hold Angel responsible for.

The next morning Angel and Darla are still in the water tank. Angel is still trying to convince Darla that her soul is going to cause her pain but Darla really doesn’t care. Darla’s still reeling from knowing that she can’t turn Angel to the dark. Angel warns Darla - if Darla hurts anyone else Angel will kill Darla, ensouled vampire or not. Darla taunts Angel and tells him that he’s going to miss all the nasty, naughty things that they did in Angel’s dreams. Angel’s reached his limit and his hand shoots out and grabs Darla’s throat. Darla slams a crucifix to Angel’s chest and now it’s a contest of wills - who can last longer? Darla tells Angel that no matter how much redemption he seeks he’s still a vampire and God doesn’t want him. . . but Darla does. Darla goes to the steps which are bathed in sunlight and walks slowly up them.

That evening Angel is in his room alone. Cordy and Wes come by to try talk to Angel. Cordy gets an awkward sentence out when Angel stops her and blurts out that he hasn’t gone evil again. Cordy denies that she or Wes were ever concerned about that. Angel is in no mood to chat so he starts to shut the door but, before Angel can finish, Wes cautions Angel to be careful. Only trouble can come from Darla working with Wolfram & Hart. Angel’s response is that Wolfram & Hart should bring the trouble on.

Summary by Kirsten.

Quotes

Key: A = Angel, C = Cordelia, W = Wesley, G = Gunn, As = Angelus, D = Darla, K = Kate, L = Lindsey, H = Host

A: Table seems far.
C: Aww, you must be all worn out from sleeping for the last three days.
[To Wes] It’s like living with the world’s oldest teen-ager. He can’t be
having a growth spurt at two hundred and forty-eight, could he?
A: Two. Forty. Seven.

C: According to my figures, if we’re frugal and garner some paying clientele
soon, we’re financially sound through last Wednesday.

W: Where’s it all going?
C: Well, there’s the fixed costs, the mortgage on the giant hotel, my salary,
there’s lots of other–
W: Well, what about my salary? It’s fixed, too.
C: What if, every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books,
we gave you ten bucks? Or a chicken pot pie.
W: Wait, I have another idea. No. Get a vision!
C: Well it’s not like you can hit me in the head and “wham!” it happens.
W: What if, we test that theory with one of my big old books?

A: You all right? You sure you don’t want to sit down?
C: If I sit, I’ll throw up in my head.

W: Did it look like this?
C: No. More mushy and more moldy.

C: It’s disciples are human; they’re killing each other. I think the fight is over
how to worship it.
A: This is why personally I rarely go to church.
[No response]
A: I thought it was funny.

A: Gaah! I didn’t doze off. Here I am. Where were we?

A: Saint Bridget’s, in Fremont. A convent, built on native burial grounds. The
land’s cursed, they had eight murders in two years before the whole place burned
to the ground, which is nothing compared to what happened at Our Lady of Lochenbee . . .
[Wes & Cordy stare]
A: I got a thing for convents.

A: We’re gonna need some muscle. Call Gunn. He’s on the payroll now.
W: Right! But not in a fixed way like me.

G: You are not payin’ me enough for this.

G: My Uncle Theo always said, “Never buy a dull plow, and never get in the
middle of a religious war.”
C: Do you really have an Uncle Theo?
G: Nah. But it’s still good advice.

A: So kill the big ugly. Unthralls the groupies; they stop killing each other.
W: Absolutely. Yes. That’s . . . the theory.

G: Angel, I’ll try to get fat head. Watch my back! Or, just keep beating
on that big guy.

G: So this whole teamwork deal. That’s a thing of the past now?
A: Job got done.

W: He hasn’t been sleeping well lately.
C: He’s off his game.
G: Since when is it a game?

D: I ran into Lord Nichols – horrid little man. He was propositioning a
streetwalker and dickering over the price. Can you imagine? I told him I’d do
him for nothing.
As: You’re very charitable.
D: I so loathe cheap royalty.
As: They all taste the same to me.

As: You always come up with something new.
D: Keeps me young.

C: Mr. Jeakins, say hello to your new best friend.
Client: Do you think my wife’s cheating on me?
A: Probably.

Client: He didn’t seem that–
W: Oh, he’s an eccentric, all the great ones are. Sherlock Holmes,
Phillip Marlowe . . .
Client: Those are fictional characters.
W: Yes, right you are! Which gives Angel rather a leg up when you
come to think of it.

C: That’s a terrific way to treat our paying customers, especially since
we have so many of them.

C: He has Visa, MasterCard, a problem! He’s our target audience!

C: Angel? Uh, What are you . . . Personal bubble. PER-SON-AL BUBBLE!

W: I need to speak to you, man to man. Cordelia, you may not want to be here
for this. [wilts] Was it something I did?

A: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ve just been so out of it lately. Because of her.
I saw her, here in town. Last night.
C: Oh no, not again. Look I like Buffy as much as the next–
A: Not Buffy, Darla.

A: I saw her. I’m not crazy.
W: Where?
A: Right between the clowns and the big talkin’ hot dog.

W: You said yourself you’ve been having dreams, lately. Maybe it’s guilt over
killing your sire.
C: Right! Guilt! Who loves guilt like you love guilt?

C: You know what you need? You need to go back to work. We have an
exciting new case: could be aliens, could be adultery. It’s a corker!

D: [Touching Lindsey’s hand] It’s very smooth. You don’t feel anything.
L: Not in my hand.

L: He betrayed you.
D: Everyone betrays you, that’s not what eats at you in the long winter’s night.
L: Yeah? What does?
D: Missed opportunities. He got a soul and it sickened me. All that power
wasted on a whiny, mopey do-gooder. God, I could eat his eyeballs.

L: Our plans for Angel are a little more long-term than that, but if you just
can’t help yourself, then by all means, be my guest.
D: You’re fun for a human.

C: What was that? We had a paying client.
A: Not everything’s worth getting paid for.
C: Easy to say when you don’t need solid food to survive.

A: Guess you didn’t take that whole dust to dust thing to heart, did you?

C: Guys, that was really fun – the public humiliation, running from the hotel
security staff, and the nifty outfit which seemed to tell so many conventioneers
“pet me, I’m a whore.”

W: The woman walked into direct sunlight. Obviously she’s not a vampire,
obviously Angel . . . made a mistake.
C: Ya’ think?
W: You’re among friends, we’re not going to condemn you.
C: Right. (to Angel) You’re crazy, you need professional help.

A: It was Darla. She’s back, and she’s human now, but I know her scent.
W: Angel, you can’t just sniff a person and –
A: You had sex last night, with a bleached blond.
W: Good lord! How –
C: That’s unbelievable. I didn’t think you ever had sex.

A: Everybody have fun tonight. Ev-ery-body . . . I’m very sorry.

A: Tell me about Darla.
H: Whoa, give me a sec. You are sending out some family-sized vibes;
my fillings are still humming.

A: You won’t tell me anything?
H: I’ll tell you you’re headed into trouble, with a capital “Troub.”

C: Angel Investigations – we solve big problems for small prices!

W: You really stood up to him. “Next time I talk to him, I won’t
weenie out like you, Wesley.”
C: Don’t start with me. And if I sound like that shoot me.
[Wes pulls out a tranq gun]
C: Just a joke!

Actor: This linguini smells so, you know, true. I’m just gonna mime
eating here, I gotta watch the figure.

Actor: Work is work. Last year I did this puppet theater of the absurd,
and believe me it was. . aah!
D: If you don’t shut up, I’m going to kill you.
Actor: Okay.

C: It’s not like he turns evil every time he gets this cranky.
G: He turns evil?

G: As evil blood-suck vampires go, how would you rate Angelus?
W: Historically, as bad as they come. Especially when he was with
his sire, Darla.
C: We’re researching her now to see if she has some kind of resurrection
powers. Maybe she’s a vampire cat with nine lives!

G: So, he and Darla together, bad combo.
W: They rampaged through half the known world, until Angel got his soul.
C: Imagine Bonnie and Clyde if they had 150 years to get it right.

D: You made quite a mess out there – the blood and habits everywhere.
As: Convents. They’re just a big cookie jar.

Dru: Snake in the wood shed!

L: Woman should have her own series.

G: There’s nothing I respect more than loyalty.
W: That’s good to hear.
G: But if the bad Angel walks through that door, I will kill him in two seconds flat.

C: He wouldn’t; Angel could never. . .
W: He’s not that type of person.
K: In fact, he’s not a person at all, is he?

K: You got any priors?
G: I forget.

A: So, you’re what Wolfram & Hart brought back in that box. And they
brought you back human. They think I won’t kill one. You want to know
what I think? I think, they don’t know me that well.

A: It’s been a long time since I said this to anyone: But you can scream
all you want.
D: Ooooh. I’m not gonna scream.

K: Disturbing the peace, resisting arrest, GTA, assault – you’ve led
a rich, full life, haven’t you Charles?
G: I get around.
C: I know this guy. He helps people. I bet this stuff you’re dredging up
happened a long time ago, didn’t it?
G: Some of it was when he was a minor.
C: Uh-HUH!
K: And some of it was in the last two weeks.
C: Oh.

K: I know he hasn’t changed.
G: No. He hasn’t. He’s still a vampire.
C: Gunn! Not helping!

A: What’s the big plan? Get me so screwed up I go bad again?
D: Kind of trite, I know. But what do you expect? They’re only human.
A: Better embrace that mediocrity, honey. You’re talking about your
own kind now.

D: All you have do, is let me give you one little moment of happiness.
A: You took me places, showed me things. You blew the top off my
head. But you never made me happy.

D: But that. . . that *cheerleader* did?

A: You couldn’t understand.
D: I understand all right. Guy gets a taste of something fresh, and he thinks
he’s touching God.

D: What a poster child for soulfulness you are.

D: You were a legend. Nobody could keep up with you. Not even me.
You don’t *learn* that kind of darkness.

D: You say you can smell me. Well, I can smell you, too. And my boy
is still in there, and he wants out.

A: You’re gonna feel it, you know. What you did. That man you got killed.
D: Please. He was an actor.

A: Darla, you hurt anyone else, and I’ll kill you.
D: Will you? Isn’t that against your cub scout code?
A: I’ll make an exception.

D: See? No matter how good a boy you are, God doesn’t want you. . . . But I still do.

C: We haven’t seen you all day. We were just wondering if everything was,
you know, copacetic.
A: I didn’t go bad Cordelia.
C: Oh, I was never worried about that boss. Of course, Mr. Fussypants
always assumes the worst.

W: There’s going to be trouble.
A: There’s gonna be a lot of trouble. And I say, bring it on.

Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.