Into the Woods

Writer/Director: Marti Noxon

Cast : Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Nicholas Brendon as Xander Harris, Alyson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Marc Blucas as Riley Finn, Emma Caulfield as Anya, Michelle Trachtenberg as Dawn Summers, James Marsters as Spike, Anthony Stewart Head as Rupert Giles.

Main guest stars : Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers, Bailey Chase as Graham Miller, Nick Chinlund as Major Ellis, Randy Thompson as Dr. Kriegel.

Original broadcast date : December 12, 2000

My one-line description: Correction – meet Riley the vampire vending machine.

The Scoobies watches as the nurses wheel Joyce off to surgery. Then the whole gang waits with Buffy and Dawn (who has fallen asleep). Sometime later, Willow asks Xander the time, and she can’t believe how much of it has passed…

Finally, the doctor comes out to see them, looking very tired. He reports that he was able to spot and remove the entire tumor – Joyce should be fine. The gang happily hugs and shakes hands to celebrate.

While Dawn spends the night at Xander’s place, Buffy and Riley enjoy an evening together. Riley marvels at how strong she’s been, but Buffy confesses that she did cry – which makes him sad. Later, the two make love, and then fall asleep – or at least Buffy does. Riley gets up quietly and leaves; he doesn’t notice Spike following him as he heads to an old, abandoned building.

The next day, Buffy is at the hospital trying to convince her mom to wear a wig. Joyce decides to settle for a scarf, and points out that Buffy should go out and have fun. However, Buffy wants to spend time with her mom instead.

Somewhere else in town, Major Ellis, Graham and other soldiers are discussing the presence of a demon nest in Belize. Graham suggests to Ellis they enlist Agent Finn’s help, but comments that it may be hard to convince him to go. Ellis wonders what could possibly keep Riley in Sunnydale.

That night, Spike appears in Buffy’s bedroom and explains that he needs to show her something. She reluctantly gets dressed and follows him to an abandoned building. As they go in and encounter a lot of vampires, Spike tells Buffy not to react. As Spike leads her upstairs, she notices there are also a lot of humans in the place… Spike and Buffy enter a room, where she discovers Riley getting blood sucked out of his arm by a vampire…

Buffy and Riley stare at each other, and she runs out of the room. Spike goes after her, quite pleased with himself, but sobers up when he sees the pain in her face. “I thought you should know,” he says. Riley tries to catch up with Buffy, but he’s slowed down by a vampire who is angry he led the Slayer to their hideout.

Numb with disbelief, Buffy walks slowly into her room and shuts the door. An equally distraught Riley enters his apartment, where he finds Graham and Major Ellis. He doesn’t want to talk, but Ellis asks him to listen. He tells him about the demon nest in Belize, and they need him for the mission – high risk, low pay. The transport leaves the next evening at midnight.

The next day, Buffy bursts into the Magic Box, looking for information on a vampire nest where humans go to have their blood sucked. Giles and Anya state that they have both heard of such things, and Giles explains the advantages for the vampires : hot and cold running blood, money, no bodies; the humans go there for the thrill of it. He comments that Buffy’s time might be better spent going after Glory than busting vampires, but Buffy insists that vampires are vampires, and her job description is pretty clear. Xander suggests they at least wait for Riley, but she wants to take care of the nest right now.

Buffy and the gang arrive to find the building empty – the vampires have upped and left. Buffy is frustrated, and burns down to place to alleviate her anger. Giles and the others looked stunned and worried at her behaviour.

Riley bursts into Spike’s crypt, goes straight for the vampire and stakes him.

You’d think Spike would have burst into dust, right? Not. The stake was plastic. Riley intended it as a warning – stay away from Buffy, or next time the stake will be real. Spike laughs at the threat, saying that even if he himself weren’t in the picture, Riley wouldn’t be able to hold on to Buffy – the girl likes a little monster in her man, and that’s not in Riley’s nature. He tosses Riley a bottle of booze he was drinking from; as Riley takes a nip, Spike expresses his envy that the soldier actually gets to touch her, to be with her, to hold her – but Riley knows he doesn’t really have her.

At the Magic Box, Xander and Anya listen worriedly as Buffy takes out her anger on a punching bag in the training room. Riley enters, asks if she’s in there, and goes in. She stops for a moment, and tells him she doesn’t want to talk unless he wants to fight. Riley proposes they do indeed fight and let it all out. She accepts to listen to him, and he explains that he let vampires bit him to even the score after she let Dracula bite her – he wanted to understand why men like Dracula and Angel held such power over her. Buffy can’t believe he blames her for this, but Riley quickly agrees it’s his fault. However, he says, the vampires he went to made him feel needed, something he craved. “And I don’t make you feel that way?” she asks. Riley replies that when he’s with her, the whole world falls away until there’s only her. But he thinks she doesn’t feel the same way – she keeps him at a distance, and he wants to be able to take care of her, so she doesn’t have to be on top of things all the time. Buffy claims that comes with the Slayer package, and believes Riley has issues with her being stronger than him. He says it’s hard sometimes, but that there’s something else. “I’ve given you my heart, my body and my soul!” exclaims an outraged Buffy, wondering what else she could possibly give him. He replies that she may say that, but he doesn’t feel it… “And whose fault is that?” she asks. Silence ensues.

“They want me back, Buffy.” Riley tells her about the invitation to join the deep undercover mission, no contact with civilians. The transport leaves the same evening, and if they can’t work this out… Buffy is outraged that he would hand an ultimatum to her, but he says that unless she gives him a reason to stay, he leaves tonight… Buffy walks out of the training room.

Walking alone and angry in an alley, Buffy is surrounded by the vampires from the nest she torched. She warns them to walk away, but they want retribution. So she fights them all, using her anger to dust all eight of them. The last one left is the woman who was drinking from Riley. Buffy orders her to run, then throws a javelin at her back. The vampire explodes into dust.

Xander shows up behind her, asking if she needs any help. She asks him to go away, but he refuses. He follows her inside an empty warehouse, and she snaps that he doesn’t know what’s going on. But Xander has realized that she and Riley are imploding, and she tells him about Riley’s ultimatum. “You gonna let him go?” Xander asks. Buffy replies that it’s not fair, but Xander points out that “fair” doesn’t matter – Riley is leaving. She balks at the thought of begging Riley to stay, but Xander wonders why she wouldn’t. He points out she’s been treating him like the rebound guy, when he’s the kind that comes around once in a lifetime. He adds that Riley has never held back with her, and wonders at the fact that she’d let him go because she doesn’t like ultimatums. If he’s not the guy, he says, then she should let him go; but if she’s ready for real, messy and scary love, then she should think about what she’s going to lose.

Buffy looks at Xander, a world of fear in her eyes. “Run”, he urges.

As Buffy runs through the streets of Sunnydale, Riley waits beside a helicopter whose propellers begin to rotate. He waits, and waits… and finally boards the helicopter, which lifts off just as Buffy arrives in the park. She shouts his name, but he can’t hear her over the noise of the propellers – doesn’t know she’s down there. Buffy watches, powerless, as he flies off into the night.

Xander arrives at his apartment and tells a stunned Anya that he’s in love with her – the things she does, the way she thinks, the way she moves – she makes him feel like a man. And he just thought she might want to know. Overcome with emotion, Anya hugs him.

Back home, Buffy starts walking up to her bedroom, but she sits down in the middle of the stairs, overcome by despair.
Riley flies off into the night, stone-faced.

Summary by OttsFiveByFive.

Episode Ratings

Mac -
“Goodbye Riley. Emotional, and somewhat difficult to side with either person. The scene with Buffy and Xander at the end, and then Xander and Anya…absolutely moving scenes.”

Quotes

(B=Buffy, G=Giles, X=Xander, W=Willow, R=Riley, S=Spike, A=Anya, D=Dawn, J=Joyce)
—
W: What time is it?
X: There’s a clock behind you, Will.
W: I know, but there a watch right above your hand. //looks at watch// That can’t be right. //looks at clock// Oh.

D: When I was younger, I used to put my chopsticks in my mouth like this, and then Buffy would chase me around the house yelling, “I’m the Slayer, I’m going to get you!”
A: That’s disturbing. You’re emotionally scarred and will end up badly.
D: No, it was great. I mean, she didn’t actually stake me in the heart, you know.
X: Buffy’s pretty cool like that.

X: So, what do you want to do now, Dawnster? Keeping in mind that I won’t chase you because I’m old and I’m stuffed full of Moo-Goo-Gai-starch.
A: Oh, we could play that game again – Life? That was fun.
D: For you. You always win.
A: Well, we can make a wager this time. You can give me real money. That would be different.
X: And after we teach her how to gamble, maybe we can all get drunk!
A: I don’t think the bar would serve her. But we can bring something in. Strawberry schnapps taste just like real ice-cream.
X: Okay, how about a movie? They’re showing them in theatres now. I hear it’s like watching a video with a bunch of strangers and a sticky floor.

X: The chimp, playing hockey? Is that based on the Chekhov?
A: There’s a chimp playing hockey?
D: No, the other one. I don’t want to see a sad movie.
A: We have to see the chimp playing hockey. That’s hilarious. The ice is so slippery, and monkeys are all irrational. We have to see this!

D: I’m only sleeping over here so Buffy and Riley can boink.
X: No, no… that’s not it at all. They just need time to… um, be tender. Relax.
A: He’s not very convincing, is he?
D: Alone time always translates into “Get Dawn out of the house so we can have loud, obnoxious sex.”
A: //looking at X// Oh. Does that mean we can’t?

B: Can we put this song on repeat?
R: Whatever you want.
B: Can we put the whole night on repeat?
R: Absolutely.

B: It’s like all the tension’s just left my body.
R: Already? ’Cause I had that scheduled for a little later on.
B: Scheduled? Are you planning on seducing me, Mr. Finn?

J: I don’t know, Buffy. I think I’d look like I had a cat on my head.
B: But a very well-groomed cat.

B: Wigs are fun. We could get you a whole bunch of different ones. You know, you could be like 60’s mom, Action mom, French-maid mom…

B: And I’m sure he’ll come over later looking for a little… bible study.

B: Riley?
S: It’s me.
B: Every time you show up like this, you risk all of your parts, you know that?

S: As usual, I’m here to help you, and I… are you naked under there?

Army guy: It’s the real deal: high risk, low pay, and seriously messy.

//sign in Giles’ shop: DON’T FORGET Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Gurnenthar’s Ascendance ARE COMING!//

G: And so it begins. No longer a victim of crass holiday commercialization, I’m a purveyor of it.

A: Oh, who ordered more chicken’s feet? The ones we have aren’t moving at all.
X: That’s generally what happens when you cut them off the chicken.
A: Maybe we could do a holiday promotion – one free with every purchase.
G: Oh, yeah… dear holiday memories. Merry tykes by the fire enjoying their new Christmas… chicken feet.
W: Aw, holding them tight as they fall asleep, painting their little toenails.
A: Oh, that’s very humorous. Make fun of the ex-demon. I can just hear you in private: “I dislike that Anya. She’s newly human and strangely literal.”

A: If it wasn’t for me, Giles would be a terrified old man, staring at a quarterly tax statement and wetting himself.
G: I say, that’s an exaggeration.

A: I’m sorry, Willow. Thank you for making time in your busy life to come in here and get in the way of mine.
X: Anya, play nice.
A: You know, fine. Take her side instead of mine, even though I’m the one who sleeps with you, and feeds you, and bathes you.
W: She bathes you?
X: Only in an erotic, Penthouse-y way. Not in a sponge-bathy, geriatric sort–
G: Please! Stop. I beg of you.

B: It looked like they were paying vampires to bite them.
X: NOW I know what to get for the person who has everything.

X: Why don’t the vampires just kill them?
A: Because they get cash, hot-and-cold running blood, and they don’t leave any corpses behind, so they don’t get hunted.

B: Vampires are vampires, and my job description is pretty clear.

A: Have a nice day. Don’t get killed.

X: I guess everybody jumped ship once the word got out that the Slayer found their crib. I just want to apologize for the use of the word “crib.”

S: Let’s be reasonable about this.
R: You may have noticed, Spike… I left reasonable about three exits back.

S: Don’t kill the messenger.
R: //ramming stake into Spike’s chest// Why the hell not?

S: Ow! Bloody hell! Oh, god! Hey.
R: //pulls out stake// Plastic wood-grain. Looks real doesn’t it?

S: Look at you. All afraid I’m hot for your honey.
R: Because you are.
S: Well… yeah.

R: Maybe I didn’t almost kill you enough.

S: The girl need some monster in her man. And that’s not in your nature. No matter how low you try to go.

R: If you touched her, you know I’d kill you for real.
S: I had this chip out of my head, I’d have killed you long ago. Ain’t love grand?

S: Sometimes I envy you so much it chokes me. And sometimes I think I got the better deal. To be that close to her and not have her. To be all alone, even when you’re holding her. Feeling her, feeling her beneath you, surrounding you… the scent. No. You got the better deal.
R: I’m the lucky guy. Yeah, I’m the guy.

A: I mean, who hasn’t done stuff like that from time to time? I mean, I made this one guy spontaneously combust, and he set his whole village on fire.
X: Can you stop being scary for a minute and listen to what I’m trying to tell you?

A: A little after-hours hanky-panky in the training room, huh? Boy, Xander and I could tell you some stories.
X: Not now. Let’s go, Anya.
A: There’s a funny thing with the vaulting horse that you can tr–
X: Anya!
A: What? He started it.
X: In your world, maybe. But where the people are, this isn’t time for “Tales of Anya and Xander’s Sexcapades.”

B: “Hey, gee, Buffy’s so mysterious, I think I’ll go out and almost die.”

X: So, how’d that work out for ya? Make you feel better?
B: What are you doing here?
X: I thought you might need to talk. Then I saw this skirmish happen. I was gonna lend a hand, but I noticed you grew a few extra ones.

X: You don’t want to deal so you hide? Not very Slayer-like.

B: I thought he was dependable.
X: Dependable? What is he, State Farm?

X: If you don’t want to hear what I have to say, I’ll shut up right now.
B: Good, ’cause I don’t.
X: I lied.

X: I gotta say something ’cause I don’t think I’ve made it clear. I’m in love with you. Powerfully, painfully in love. The things you do… the way you think… the way you move… I get excited every time I’m about to see you. You make me feel like I’ve never felt before in my life – like a man. I just thought you might wanna know.

Credit: The Sunnydale Slayers