Serenity

Written by: Joss Whedon
Directed by: Joss Whedon

Original Airdate: 12.20.02
The naked woman is Simon’s sister River, a government test subject he helped to escape. After ducking a dreaded reaver ship, Mal tries and cuts a deal with Patience, an old “friend” but suspects a trap. Patience tries an ambush but the team escapes just as the Reavers return and the Federal agent breaks loose. Mal shoots the agent dead and Wash manages to duck the Reavers. At the end Mal decides to take on all three of his remaining passengers full-time.

Quotes

Mal: We’re not gonna die. We can’t die, Bendis. You know why? Because we are so very pretty. We are just too pretty for God to let us die.

Wash: Yes, this is a fertile land. And we shall rule over it and call it…umm, ‘this land’.

Badger: The situation is…fluid.
Jayne: The only fluid I see here is the puddle of piss refusing to pay our wage.

Mal: The wheel never stops turning, Badger.
Badger: Only matters to the people on the rim.

Jayne: 10 percent of nothing is…let me do the math. Nothing, and nothing, carry the nothing…

Mal: Jayne, your mouth is talking. You might want to see to that.

Mal: How’s business?
Inara: None of yours.

Book: Captain, do you mind if I say grace?
Mal: Only if you say it out loud.

Kaylee: Being a doctor is important.
Jayne: She just wishes you were a gynecologist. (laughs)

Simon: What do you pay him for?
Mal: What?
Simon: I was just wondering what (Jayne’s) job was on the ship.
Mal: Public relations.

Simon: Are you out of your mind?
Mal: Just about.

Mal: I don’t believe there’s a power in the ’verse that’ll stop Kaylee from being so cheerful. Sometimes you just want to duct tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.

Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.

Serenity (Pt. 2)

(Mal slugs Simon)
Jayne: Saw that coming…

Mal: You’ve only got to scare him.
Jayne: Pain is scary.

(talking about Reavers)
Zoe: If they take the ship they’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.

Jayne: Here’s a little concept I’ve been working on - how about we shoot (Patience) first?
Wash: It is her turn.

Zoe: Sir, I’d like you to take the helm, please. I need this man (Wash) to tear all my clothes off.
Wash: Work, work.

Mal: How come you didn’t turn on me, Jayne?
Jayne: Money wasn’t good enough.
Mal: What happens when it is?
Jayne: Well, that’ll be an interesting day.
Mal: Imagine it will.

Simon: I’m trying to put this as delicately as I can. How do I know you won’t kill me in my sleep?
Mal: You don’t know know me, son, so let me explain this to you once. If I ever kill you, you’ll be awake, you’ll be facing me, and you’ll be armed.
Simon: Are you always this sentimental?
Mal: Had a good day.

Please credit Hellmouth Central with these quotes when using them for any publication.