Most Embarrassing KinkBot Moments

It's disturbing because of what's on the sweater....I've seen worse things...just not on sweaters....Rolling Eyes

Its only disturbing if you have a dirty mind and make it that way we were having an arm wrestling competition and he beat me twice and it hurt

LMAO

*sigh* Sad

wears his sweater with pride

dirty minded buggers

Vibes like you have room to talk...Mr. He Who Likes To Sniff Glow Bras....and pee funny...rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'

HAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA.... Twisted Evil *cough* Rolling Eyes

My post from yesterday got sucked into a blackhole, so here it is again as best as I can remember. Smile

Ferretdonkey, the monkey makes me squeal too when I have to wrestle his arm in the closet.

Anywho, back to work. Let me show you two to your new offices.

*glow leads the ferretdonkey and bunnygoat to the men's washroom. In the corner beside the urinals are a card table and two stools.*

Here you are. Nothing but the best for our two newest employees.

*glow hands them a roll of toilet paper and two dull pencils*

Your first assignment is to compose songs for our next album. I can't wait to see what you two come up with. Ta ta!

*writes a highly original song*

Ive got a lovely bunch of um peanuts
there they are all standing in a um line
quite big ones
smaller ones
some as little as my eye

*grins at his new song*

rollin'

Very nice ferretdonkey. Although we may have to check that song out for copyright infringement. Have to get Fiat on that ASAP. Now you only have 12-14 more songs to write.

rollin'

Hehehe

I wonder when SPIKES is going to stop shopping at Pier1 and stop pouting, and finally come back and get his tour off the ground.

*sighs*

I mean I'm ready for the tour, I've gotten Caleb broken in, and taught him a few things he's gonna need for the road....gotten over not having the wedding happen...I'm ready for this tour!

Huh? Pier what? Where the hell is SPIKES anyway? And where's Wondering for that matter?

Isn't wondering in Iraq? When do I get my lousy t-shirt from her? rollin'

SPIKES is either

A) Pouting like a big ol baby
B) Spoodging
C) Shopping with Faithbot
D) All of the above

I vote for D all of the above. Laughing

Ah, maybe we shouldn't kid like this...he'll only give us more work to do when he finally gets back....Shocked Rolling Eyes

Work? What is this "work" of which you speak?

I don't think 'work' is a word in SPIKES' vocabulary. It got struck out by 'domineering'. Twisted Evil

Twisted Evil

You guys are so screwed when he reads that...rollin'

Not that I don't agree rollin'

Do I look scared?

*hides behind Glow*

Wimp...Um glow why are you hiding behind me?

rollin'

*JUDO CHOPS Sprook*

Was I hiding behind you? Twisted Evil

*crawls away to grab a bottle of Spoodge-y Nancy Boy Hair Gel gets up and squirts it all over glow*

MWAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

*takes the corner of Sprook's shirt and wipes her face and hands on it*

You're going to pay for all of this. GRRRRRRR! Evil or Very Mad

*stomps off to take a long hot shower*

(Walks in & throws down his suitcase.)

Christ! I leave for a few weeks and this place goes to a hell dimension in a human-head basket!

(Looks at Sprook)

Nice little rip on me, my former Lil' Punkin'!

(Stares at Selz)

Gee, you're really getting a little too big for your britches, missy. You should show more respect to Zee Arteast!

(Glares at The Glowster)

And YOU? Well, I actually expected to get grief from YOU!
(Throws her a rag)

And clean that damn spoodgy nancy boy hair gel off your face.

(Looks over at NS & LFB)

And who the bloody hell are YOU TWO?

Ah, screw it! I'm too tired to care. Welcome to the party. You two DO KNOW that we used invisible ink on the bottom part of the KinkBot Kontract, right? In other words, WE OWN YOUR SOULS! Twisted Evil

(Sits down on the KinkBot Kouch & starts to gulp his Blood & Vodka.)

Look, ingrates, I'm sorry that I couldn't contact you for the past few weeks, but FaithBot, The Master, Luke the Vessel, and I had to do both a pre-SPOODGAPALOOZA 2004 World Tour- now, a summer tour- promo tour and open up 28 more of The Master's Spoodgy Specialties & KinkBot Klothing stores.

I would have gotten back last week, but Luke the Vessel, during our promo gig in Arkansas, got really drunk, pledged yet ANOTHER frat, and ended up screwing a mayor's wife. I won't tell you the exact city, but suffice it to say we will only be hitting 49 states.

I heard a rumor that Vibes got an infection of his monkey tail and had to have it cut in half. Any truth? I hope not. If he can't play the drums AND reach the chimes with his tail, we might need to get him a prosthetic extension.

Fiat- Are we still in business, or has the IRS been calling about that Manhattan penthouse you guys rented with our "dubious" petty cash?

Side Note: Wondering contacted me. Unfortunately, she sent it in Morse code. I'll get crackin' on deciphering it and tell ya what's up.

btw- Sprook, you're still my Lil' Punkin'. (Squeezes her until she squeaks)

Well, due to my absence and all of you guys slacking, it looks like SPOODGAPALOOZA is now going to be a summer tour. So, it is crucial that we start rehearsing so that my recent promo tour will be effective. Remember, it's all about maximizing the bottom line.

NS & LFB- Since you are the new guys, feel free to take my bags to my room. Make sure not to open The Master's bag.....well, unless you don't mind third-degree burns from acid-based spoodge?

(Finishes his drink & starts for the door.)

Ok, guys, I have to head over to Wicker Hell & make sure Clicky the Street Guitarist & our Bringers/roadies didn't ruin the place while we were gone.

Take Care, Stay Safe, Buy Pepper Spray, and............

KinkBot Love,

Your Favorite Fascist,

SPIKES

Fiat, it is. . .just humor the slow one Wink Razz

Glow rollin' You crack me up Razz

Thank you, thank you! You're all too kind. Please remember to tip your waitress.

Waitress? What waitress? Razz

*walks over to Sprook wearing an apron and carrying a tray*

Here's your bill miss.

Put it on the Kompany card Razz

*puts Sprook's tab on the Kompany card*

Wow Sprook! You're a great tipper!

I do what I can glow Very Happy

(Runs in, grabs everyones Kompany cards, and rips them to shreds.)

Um, Fiat? Unless you want me to have Luke the Vessel cum over & crash on your couch for the next year, you had better get your booty in my office before 5:00pm......and I am DEAD serious. Seeing as how you are supposed to be in charge of our finances, I was curious as to why I just got a notice from the IRS, detailing how we owe the government 125,000 dollars in back taxes. Matter of fact, I would like to know why we have failed to file for THE PAST THREE YEARS! If this isn't straightened up immediately, the only stop we will be making on SPOODGAPALOOZA 200? will be at Rikers Island. However, I am sure this is just a simple error. Ya know, like when you guys rented a Manhattan penthouse without my knowledge? I hate to single you out, but you ARE the one who makes the big bucks.

btw- For the love of Joss, don't use the old "It's Vibes' fault" excuse, what with it being SOOOOOOO played out, ok?

Speaking of Vibes- Dogg, I know this is a very touchy subject for both of us, but I just thought I would give you a holla that NFL camp has already started.

btw- Has any one heard from Wondering? If she doesn't surface soon- especially since we put her picture on the back of cartons of The Master's Thick & Mushy Milk- I am going to cash all of her checks & we will party until we drop.

Guys-

This little problem aside, I guess the only other problem is finding time- and motivation (stares at Sprook & Glow)- to rehearse for our "upcoming" tour.

Side Note: If the FBI calls up in a month or so, asking about my whereabouts during late August & early September, asking if you guys know anything about several beaten-to-death anarchists near your old penthouse, I was with you guys at rehearsal & you guys know NOTHING about anything, ok? Make sure to tell them that I am a great guy and that my only interest in life is picking flowers & spreadin' the love.....though not like The Master. Remember, zee arteast must be protected at all costs.

Well, it looks like once we get these tax issues behind us that we will be gearing up for the greatest rockin' tour of music & spoodge this world has ever seen. I can't wait. I just got the new concert t-shirts & they look great......though I did have to send them back to change the 2004 to 2005. Still, progress is progress.

Remember- You guys have to sign the quarterly statements from The Master's Spoodgy Specialties & KinkBot Klothing if you want to get paid.

Well, I have to help FaithBot with inventory at Wicker Hell for the next few days, but you can always call me on my Kompany cell phone [1-800-SPOODGE].

Stay safe, take care, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars....even if Drusilla is the only one who sees them.

KinkBot Love,

SPIKES [aka. Mr. Sexy Legs]

Um. . .*hides SPIKES personal charge card*

Okay SPIKES. . .no more Kompany spending. . .

Glow quick get your keys, it's SHOPPING SPREE TIME!

Damnit! I should have stayed in Mexico longer so I could skip out on all this IRS stuff.

Yes Sprook, let's go shopping. It will make our money problems go away, right? And become SPIKES' money problems. Mwa ha ha ha ha!!! Twisted Evil

I like sharing my problems with others that I love. . .what can I say I'm a giver. . .

Oh wait, isn't that SPIKES line? Laughing

Anyway clothes here I come Very Happy Very Happy

OOooh and glow you know that candy store is having a grand opening today? Free Skittles! Razz Laughing

S K I T T L E S!!! Shocked

*Sprook barely gets her hat wearing ass in the car before glow peels out of the parking lot and burns rubber*

Shocked

*Buckles seatbelt and watches glow go over the curb, hit an old woman, run a stop sign and two red lights. . . .*

Um glow did that guy coming out of Wicker Hell look like SPIKES to you? Shocked

*aims the car at SPIKES*

*mutters* Taste the rainbow! *mutters*

*grabs hat with one hand and the door with the other*

Oh dear god! Shocked Shocked Shocked

*Faithbot pushes SPIKES out of the way just in the nick of time, but due to her excessive strength, she pushed him so hard that he flew into a tree and broke his sexy legs. But Faithbot was too late to save herself. glow runs her down.*

Note to self: Replace SPIKES' mangled Faithbot with a Rileybot dressed in a nurses uniform to help him recouperate faster.

Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

I broke a nail! Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad

*Pulls out a mirror and fixes hair and hat*

Alright glow. . .are you okay? Up for shopping still? Razz

Oh I mean. . .I wonder how SPIKES is. . .

*Dials 911 for SPIKES*

*whoooosh*

In my disguise as a poor computerless single mom from SC i hid out in the caferteria of the Carolina Panther's training camp last night and had a little something to eat with with Stephen Davis and a couple of other really. REALLY big guys.
(My friend is over Wofford food service)

*Sigh*

Must go. Our VP is in our home town today and security is tight---BTW--why would Tom Ridge need to now Glow"s bra size????

*whooosh*

HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF GOD WOOOOONDERING!

Hey wondering! Nice to see you're still alive and breathing. Are you working undercover for Homeland Security now?

wondering wrote:

Mass Destruction? SPOODGE support bra? Shocked Shocked Shocked

Damn glow another year older and you need an extra boost with the spooge-y bras. . .

I am shocked. . .rollin'

Well I see how saggy yours are and I don't want that to happen to mine.

BWA HA HA HA HA! Twisted Evil

Glow, I'm 18, I have "perky pups" what the hell you talkin' about. rollin' rollin'

Hmmm...looks like you have perky basset hound pups...lmfao You better get one of those spoodgy bras soon....LOL

That's hillarious considering you had to ask me if Basset Hounds were the dogs with droopy faces. . . Laughing Laughing Laughing Razz

glowbot2002: basset hounds are those dogs with long droopy faces right?
sprook04: you're comparing boobs to basset hounds???

Glow needs help with her comebacks. . .see things just don't get better with age. . .her comebacks are one of them Razz Ah I feel for her, honest I do Razz